Sneak peak of my book

I have been writing, a story for one month, and I began my journey on NaNoWriMo in April. You can read some chapters of it. But it needs some changes, which you can help with.
We need a character for the main character, and you can give him a name on the comment. I have just him called (h), and the friend is called (**), for now. (the best suggestion for a good name, will get be named in the acknowledgement section.) If you want another chapter to read, please like, share and comment. If I see many people liked it, I will post the next chapter.

Capital 1: The war

The wind sent the blood flying into the chin, he was wiping the blood off of his chin. A sword, nearly hitting him, a whooshing sound, made his mind wake up. He watches as the heart coping. In the darkness, they were the sight of the sword, making him frightening, and his arm jiggling from the shock of the near dead. As he stood in fear, while he looked at to see who it was. A sword clinched the other sword; They locked eyes. It was (**), he is the one to lean on when problems appear, he is the one whom he depends on, someone who lifts him when he is on down dumps. 

“am I welcome to the party, (H)” he said (**) 

He smiled. A smile is quite a funny thing, it wrinkles upon (h)’s faces. 

“Should we do it,”  he said with such enthusiasm. 

“You mean..”  (H) said with the anticipation of what might happen next. 


They stood back to back. And tramped them down. Circling each other.” Shoulder to shoulder! “ Each man in the place! Shoulder to shoulder, and “right about! Face” 

“Behind you,” (H)  said. 

(h) The sword flew from his hand like a shooting star and dived into the person behind him. 

He curled my hand into a fist and aimed for the front of his nose. His fist hit the bridge of his nose. His blood splattered all over the ground. And (H)  ran to his sword, took it out of the person’s body. 

“Fire the catapult, don’t let them enter,”

“Yes, sir,” 

They turned and crossed their arms. That was their signal, and fire flew across the sky. 

The rush of air blew him away. A patch of blue hidden behind clouds. The way my heart speeds up, and I expand. My chest opens to the sky, and I lean back, close my eyes and feel the sun. It Burned hotter. My hair flies behind me like clumps of wild grass in the wind.

(h) shot an arrow into the air. It felt to earth, he didn’t  know where; For, so swiftly it flew, in plain sight. Could not follow it on its flight. A flame in the wind of death, it trembles ceaselessly. And this is all we can do. To use our little; light. Before, in the piercing wind, It flickers into the night. To yield the heat of the flame. That was the signal from the light into the night, A war between Roman and mogul. But the Mogul had the victory on their mind, even if they lost. These towering high walls that we have built to protect souls. Isn’t some small wall, this stretch from small town to the city hall. Roman empire has been trying to enter inside, but always lost. The wall is nothing more than to imprison the Roman Empire’s ego and spirit. But the legend has it that one day it will fall. But by looking at it, it’s not anytime soon.

As Sun Tzu says: Attack is the secret of defence; defence is the planning of an attack. The large, beautiful city was surrounded by a wall, and around the city wall ran over a large river. The two boys ran across the bridge and continued in through the west gate. There was a bustle in the city. It was crowded with merchants with baskets filled with fruits and vegetables. People pushed wagons with firewood, freshly braided red or animal fur. Everywhere there were stalls, shops, signs and loud-mouthed salesmen who wanted to remind all passers-by that they absolutely could not live without their particular item. There were scary sailors from the merchant ships and nice people who were just on a shopping trip to the market, where you could buy everything your heart desired. So if you had enough money. And there were some who had. All this money attracted lots of thieves, so the city prison was well visited as well. But also attracts many empires. 

He saw his friend in a distance, For bravery – is he. For honesty is the same. He is the perfect example of patriot and man. He can do a thing only a few heroes can do. 

“HOLD ON!!” 

“FIRE ARROW!” I said 

And the sky went from pitch black to a moving sky, that lit the world up. Moving at speed, And men tramped hard, it felt like an earthquake. 

(h) looked up, saw the arrow hit one guy in the bone marrow.   

(h) “took thy cool steel beast tough quite noble blade honed under ashen light where rough stars arise these edges scron snide prate blind anger empty spite where hearts obey what’s right there steel shall never break blood bound storm borne cross fiery feral skies thine honour valour glory thine everlasting force arm, ram the warrior forever always yours.”

Said his dad. 

“Only use this to defend us, never to attack others,”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes, my king,” 

“Kneel my, knight,”

(H) He kneeled. 

Crossed the sword between shoulders to shoulders. 

“Stand up my, knight,” 

A whole chamber hall echoed the clapping hands of the people standing there. One stood near me. It was my best friend. He came and hugged me gave me a hug: 


“But not be too happy, I will also be a knight soon,”

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