I remember my first day of kindergarten I was thinking. You know, I remember my mom. She didn’t tell me anything. No, I got no… She just said, “Get in there. They’re going to feed you a little bit later”
That’s all she told me. I didn’t know what was going on. They started teaching the alphabet. I thought they were reading off the menu.
A is for apple.NO.
B is for banana. Not interested.
C is for cake. I rose my hand and said, “Cake, cake, yes.”
D is for the dog. What the heck kind of place is this? I don’t want to eat dogs.
E is for elephant, I don’t want that either.

I didn’t know the answer to the first question, I was just kind of scared. I just sat there quiet. The teacher just asked me a question I just sat there scared and she came up and started screaming at me the first day, she’s going, “Are you dense?”
Just tell us, are you dense or what. I said. It’s pronounced Dennis.
Get it right. Then at the end of the day, there’s an announcement over the loudspeaker that said all pedestrians get to leave five minutes early.
The teacher comes up says, “Dennis you’re a pedestrian aren’t you?”
And I said, “No, I’m not. I’m a catholic. But if I can get out five minutes early I’ll convert to pedestrianism. I will convert”