Baldrick, what are you doing out there?
I’m carving something on this bullet, sir.

  • What are you carving?
  • I’m carving “Baldrick”, sir.

It’s a cunning plan, actually.

  • Of course, it is.

You see, you know they say that somewhere there’s a bullet with your name on it?

  • Yes?

Well, I thought if ‘i owned the bullet with my name on it, I’d never get hit by it. Cos I won’t ever shoot myself.
Oh, shame.
And the chances of there being two bullets with my name on them are very small indeed.
That’s not the only thing around here that’s “very small indeed”. Your brain, for example, is so minute, Baldrick. That if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open…There wouldn’t be enough inside to cover a small water biscuit.